Monday, March 30, 2009

Nora Day #19 What Have I Got to Lose?

      I've been thinking about relationships a lot lately. My friends are breaking up, my friends are being cheated on, my friends are meeting new people, my friends are falling in love...I'm just kind of hanging out. For the first time, I am the friend who is receiving the stories rather than playing a leading role in them. As a serial monogamist, this was a challenging adjustment. But now, standing in hindsight of the last year, in which I broke up, I was cheated on, I was meeting new people, and I was falling in love, I am relieved.
      I never realized how much energy and time a relationship required until I had no one to give it to. Nora Day helped me to create an outlet for that time and energy by giving it back to myself, which was a whole new concept to me. Now, I can't imagine my life without it. And I'm not too sure how I ever got along before it.
      However, lately I worry that, should a potential relationship arise, I won't be able to incorporate it into my day, that I will have adjusted to my Nora Day lifestyle so well that I won't have room for the needs and feelings of another. Just thinking about it makes me feel overwhelmed. Even more so, I worry that because of this change of perspective, I will let the real thing pass me by.
      This move to San Francisco puts an interesting twist on things. When it comes to taking chances with my relationships in Chicago, I figure, what have I got to lose? I'm leaving soon so, should I be rejected, I'll only be embarrassed about it for a small while and before I know it I'll be on the sunny beaches of California hitting on surfers. But at the same time, I'm leaving soon, so what do I really have to gain?
      Timing plays a ridiculously important role in relationships, probably just as important as the feelings between the two people. And now, looking at the clock, I think it is going to be a long time before a relationship will ever make sense.

1 comment:

geoff said...

What do you have to gain? Everything. Experience, perspective, happieness, brief or extended. What do you have to lose? Nothing but time, and you can't save it, you can only spend it wisely or foolishly. Nora Day is the key, not the anchor, for your future happiness in relationships. It makes you happy with yourself, and when you find someone else who is also happy with themselves, then your Days will compliment, and not cancel out, each other. Don't wait for the right timing, instead use the time you have now.
- Geoff